Ivan Rococococovonof, Russian exchange student, has been seated at the baseball backstop on West's campus for almost two weeks now, sleeping outside and consuming nothing but warm lemonade and cold pizza. Since we were curious as to where he was buying his pizza, we decided to ask him a few questions. Our first question was, "Why have you been sitting out here for almost two weeks?" We quote him that "Hi vant to gatt ha goott zeat vor da fursatt gamk." This seemed so logical that we decided to ask our originally intended question, "Where do you get your pizza?" We were confronted with, "Hi maak dam minezeiff hin mine hone leetle kline. Hi halzo dho coopperr jowlray." At this point we left Ivan to moofe on to greener pastures.

USELESS INFORMATION DEPARTMENT

Ev Jones has purchased a rubber skin diving suit so that he will be able to water‑ski as soon as the ice is out. In fact he has been thinking of mounting a flame thrower in the bow of his boat so he will be able to water‑ski before the ice is out.

Blazz hew hall,
Morfit and the Finks