Hi! It's me again‑remember? Me ‑ Morfit. No, not Misfit, Morfit! That's right, now you've got it. Now that that's straight, I'd like to complain about the doors in the building ‑ they don't work. Take for 'instance door knobs‑they seem to stick to your hands and stay there even after you've closed the door and have walked away. Since the doors around here don't operate normally, the only solution seems to be to supply all teachers with tomahawks instead of door keys.

Well, enough of that. Now for something more exciting. Meet Voronica Builtmor. The name probably sounds vaguely familar as I have referred to her in the past.

Called Ronny by her most intimate friends, Voronica is 4' 10" tall, has fire‑engine red hair, 108 freckles (when last tabulated), and a very unique pony‑tail. To put you on the right train of thought, I would like to describe the latter in full detail. One could truthfully say that Voronica's pony‑tail could easily be compared with the jet propellors of an airplane. The hair itself is rather stiff and wirey and serves the purpose to the fullest extent. (Last summer Ronny had 129 jobs. Everytime an airconditioner broke down they installed Voronica until it could be repaired.)

To bring things up to date, last Saturday night Voronica and I Duane went to Axe Kick‑Off Dance. As you can well imagine, Runny's pony‑tail caused one of the greatest uproars in the history of horse‑tails.

Everything was fine until Ronny and Duane started to dance. Forgetting what might happen if they danced to one of the faster numbers, they hopped out on the floor and started to jitterbug to the "ABC Boogie." They didn't finish, though, because midway through the number Ronny's pony‑tail started spinning, and she flew off over the dance band. Amid the shouts and screams of terror, Ronny was able to succeed in latching on to some paper decoration until a rescue party helped her down. To quote Voronica, "I'm getting a D.A. as soon as possible."

Looks like that time is almost here again, but before I leave you, I'd like to tell the varsity football team something, Morfit says, "Mortify 'em."

So long gang,
Morfit