Hi there, gang! The Phynques and I have been busy trying to find all of you in interesting situations. Here are a few tidbits which we hope will enlighten your day.

Making the rounds one day, we found the Ski Club in the bus concourse getting ready to leave for Mt. Telemark. We hopped on just in time to see the girls in the back of the bus thank Mr. Meles for the washrooms.

As we approached our destination, we found Debbie Brown, Donna Mertes, and Debbie Parry with bikinis on. Needless to say, they drew attention.

Out on the slopes we found Val Pontarelli and Peg Tamillo plowing down numerous cows. How many did you hit, girls? It would have helped if you skied on two feet.

On our way home, Lora Lorentz tried to see Jan Jarvis' flying turtles, but failed. Jo Bonaguidi thought it was too dark to see as she struggled with her contact. It would help if you had your own mirror, right, Tracey Burke?

Back at Maine West we found Jim Konopacz with two flat tires. Just wasn't your day, was it? Speaking of cars, Rich Holst, please leave the attendants at the car wash from now on.

In the field of science, Gary Waecker, the mad scientist, will attempt to turn Sue Wadman and Jill Schludt into swimmers. Don Sakalis and Irene Lewandowski have a different science project of making a silver mine during lunch time.

Girls' gymnastics seems to be taking a turn for the worse. While Jo Pabich is trying to get over the horse in one piece, Cyndie Wright is playing volleyball on the balance beam. It makes it more of a challenge that way, doesn't it, Cyndie?

Pat Ferrell would like to thank the track team for decorating her locker with her leotards. Anyone wishing to accept her personal thanks should stand by her locker to receive his prize.

By the way, Sergio Diaz, we heard that you fell in the hall again and went boom. Mark Dodge and Sandy Currer are the informers. Heard any birds singing lately? Check out A‑201, right, Steve Sperling?

I sure do get tired roaming the halls to find out what's happning. So why don't you help me out by writing down the weird situations you see and putting them in the Westerner box?

Well, it's time for the phynques and me to split, but beware Morfit is everywhere.

Morfit and the Phynques