Morfit here, with the secret‑service phynques, who have been noticing many peculiar things recently.

I hear Pajama Game was a real success. Congratulations!

Speaking of the musicial, I hear that Pat Tures was also in the dance chorus. The costume committee agreed that Carolyn Hummel and Rhonda Sundquist seem to have a thing about raising their arms.

Concert Choir has put in a request stating that Mary Gianpetro should refrain from hiccupping in the middle of their songs. Is it really true that Betsy Huxmann has a two‑legged carrot? Rita Nelson seems to be trying very hard to start a new fad at Maine‑wearing a bathing cap to lunch.

Come on, Carol Zeissler! Taking a shower in Mr. Porter's science class with safety goggles and a satin shirt on is going a little too far.

Checking over the absentee list, I found Miss Royleen Tipton's name ... Miss Tipton has also made the cut list.

Dave Dadabo, did you have fun laughing at Kevin Weller when he was having a gay old time with an earth science experiment in Mr. Scofield's sand pile class?

As we were ambling through A‑wing, we found Jeanne Durham locking Laura Frey in a wire cage, which has since disappeared. Why doesn't Adrienne Baske try eating her lunch, instead of picking it off the floor? Got an answer for that, Marcia Barger?

That's almost as bad as Glenn Parrotte who tried out to be a Playboy bunny or Royle Epperson who, keeping up with the latest fashion, wore his 1920 he‑man muscle shirt.

Among the applicants for a GAA executive office was Donald Hudson applying for the position of shower checker. Was it easy to get the required signatures of 25 members, Don?

Mr. Meitzner, tell us about your pet raccoon; or should we ask Bette Basner for the answer?

A new trick John Norton learned was spelling his name wrong on job applications. Do you get many jobs, John? Congratulations are in order for Conrad Bar. He receives the Allen's Model of the Year award.

I saw Shirley Jay fall on the floor and Patty Prenzler falling over the seal in the main entrance. Come on girls, if you had spring fever I could understand. Now that third quarter slump is over, it's time to start thinking of an excuse for the fourth.

Until then,
Morfit and The Phynques