Good news!
As of today only 27 more days remain until Christmas!

Were your contacts out on purpose, Dave Atkinson, when you walked into the girls' washroom? Maybe you were going to thank Michele Stackhouse for her "I Love Wallace" posters.

Kathy Seipp almost made it on time to art class three days in a row. Maybe Sharon Kordt used her Mickey Mouse watch to help Kathy.

If Judy Jacobs could stop catching someone's foot in her locker long enough to listen, my phynques report that Randy Breuscher, Pete Cygan, and Jeff Smith would lend her one of their 142 locks to keep her locker shut. Then again, Janie Yardely seems to be always changing lockers. Could you use a new lock, Janie?

Hey, Bill Skibbe, how ape can you get drinking Gorilla Milk at lunch? Urn, gaa wah. Never mind trying to build up new muscles, Bill; Monnie Keane, Katie Mandell, and Diana Townsend practice their muscle building during third period PAR.

Don't feel bad, Jim Hoekstra, just because Sue Winn won't wear that 300 carat diamond. Lynn Callerman is trying to figure out why her ring is on Mike Garms' wedding finger.

Did you find that lost article of clothing, Linda Wesolowski? Maybe Mr. Jobst found it while swimming in the stone quarry.

Phyllis Jenkins got so wrapped up while playing an imaginary game of tug‑of‑war that she fell flat on her back. Don't feel bad, Phyllis; Linda Naegele can't even walk on the balance beam without falling on her face.

Mr. Rupar, where did you get your information about Don Rickles? Maybe Bob Heinzel and Mr. Kardasz let him listen on their party line.

Tom Goodson, Peggy Dunn, and Kim Roel, how did you ever keep the secret of a surprise birthday party for two and a hail weeks? Maybe Jim Webster gave you his new plunger that he got on a scavenger hunt so you could keep your mouths shut.

Carol Vrana, you seem to be saying too much about Rudy. Why don't you play canasta with Diane Sauer instead?

Morfit and the Phynques