By SCOTT HAYWARD

Do you have stage fright about being Santa Claus at a family gathering? If so, you may find these little hints plus about $1,000 worth of gifts very helpful.

1. The Costume

Nothing gives you away faster than your costume. First obtain one authentic, wash‑and­ wear Santa Claus suit (preferably red), complete with accessories: a white beard, black belt, black boots, and helmet. Spread a pillow evenly across your middle so that it doesn't look like a tumor.

2. The Entrance

Only knock once! They are expecting you. I once knew a Santa Claus who went to knock a second time and fell flat on his face when someone opened the door. A fall would tend to destroy some poor kid's faith in Santa Claus.

3. The Greeting

Don't forget the "Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas" jazz. Play the part. However, once inside, never, I repeat, NEVER let the kids get the upper hand, or you're sunk. Let them know you're the boss. Don't answer any stupid questions. Give only your name, rank, and serial number.

4. The Gifts

Get to them right away before the kids start asking embarrassing questions like why you drove up in a Corvair instead of on a reindeer sled.

Don't take any lip about the gifts. No exchanges. Take it or leave it. What do they think this is ‑ Christmas? Also, knowing the kids' names can be helpful. Once the gifts are open, stay out of firing range.

5. The Exit

As quickly as possible!