By KATHY SIME and
PAT GLEASON

Aries (March 21-April 20) Today's your lucky day! Watch out for falling chairs.

Taurus (April 21-May 20) Criticism is a bad habit today. Beware of stepping into garbage cans.

Gemini (May 21-June 21) - If you have a good day today, it should turn out pretty nice. Keep your eyes open, but don't look for much.

Cancer (June 21-July 21) Don't smoke. Remember that people under this sign cause cancer.

Leo (July 21-Aug 21). - Beware of unexpected admirers who may notice your crooked seams.

Virgo (Aug. 22-Sept. 22) Watch out for trips down the cafeteria stairs. They may prove to be quite embarrassing

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) - You will lose something quite valuable today, like maybe your Polish passport.

Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Cutting classes is of no significance today everybody knows what you're up to.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 20) Don't eat any hamburgers today if green clashes with your outfit.

Capricorn (Dec. 21-Jan. 19) -. Wear your pointed shoes today. They may come in handy when spotting roaches.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Stay out of relief stations in C-wing today. Smoke is bad for your eyes.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Don't pay any attention to wise cracks today. Smile if you're not wearing any underwear.