Greetings!

As third quarter becomes a thing of the past, so does spring vacation 1970. Welcome back from the West Indies, Jonas Benton! You're the envy of Maine West with that beautiful tan. What's your secret, Butch?

For those of us "stay‑at homers" the going wasn't really that rough! The baseball team has been taking it easy, watching Joe Jung run into walls, and then retreating to Keith Moranz's house for a little "flick" after practice.

And if Karla Felde would learn how to hardboil eggs, she wouldn't have to color them twice. That's O.K., Karla, at least you didn't do as much damage as John Fisher did when he backed into Lloyd Mencinger's car. Nice driver's license, John!

Lori Rowells, would you tell Debbie Kost to please learn the Black Hawks names so the next time you meet them at the airport Jim Hanselmann and JoDee Rowells won't be embarrassed?

Dave Boesche sure traveled in style to the state wrestling meets; he went with two Beams: Bruce Beam to wrestle and Bill Beam to watch.

Through no fault of her own, Sue Kern managed to get her house exterior decorated three nights in a row. Very clever, Rick Neetz, Eric Dahl, Steve Jackson, Ross Anderson, and John Woodley.

It seems that Jan Barkell, Barb Novotny, Patti Tures, and Jo Scheuneman had no trouble finding things to do over vacation! When everyone wasn't "hanging out" at the House of the Rising Sun or attacking Gino Stiletto with butcher knives, they were out dressing the Smith mansion in its Sunday best. You say you used 18 rolls in five different colors, girls? Well, the least you could have done was to watch out for the prize roses!

People have resorted to strange means of communication lately. Is Bill Detzner really trying to win the affection of a Des Plaines librarian? Maybe he is just straightening out books like he says.

While shopping, Debbie Huizenga and Pat Ostrum use their secret sign language instead of talking. Watch out for "pros" who will put you two in your place again.

The latest thing to do while in a restaurant is to bring along your bird whistles. Isn't that right, Larry Waring, Wilbur Anderson, and Mike Maloney? Take it easy, Lar, and forget trying to fly off curbs!

Suprisingly enough, Shirlee Smith has been dethroned from her position as "Chatterbox of the Year" by Jan Kennedy. Congratulations, Jan! We heard about that backboard in your rec room that keeps "Frog and the Boys" in form. Pretty tricky!

My last bit of advice goes out to Karen McNally and Donna Meyer. If you expect to find Peabody's Tomb on Cuba Road, you'll be looking until Christmas, because it isn't there! Stay cool, kids, and remember May is my alert month.

Morfit and the Phynques