Happy Homecoming kids..

Speaking of Homecoming, Bill Voeller, did you get the date with Donna? Or is she too much for you, Bill?

Karla Felde claims she didn't wear a short skirt to take her driver's test. Tell that to your dad, Karla, when he finds out about the telephone pole.

Debbie Hintz and Tom Hobbs ‑ what are you ‑ hungry or something? Maybe you should ask Heather Brown. She can get you a five finger discount on sweetrolls.

John Leer went in Lake Opeka fully dressed. Kurt Raack was around there, too. Looking for something, Kurt?

Lester Ehorn's on a diet ‑ strictly corncobs. But then only a girl's called "Wrists" knows for sure.

Want to buy a Volkswagen? Talk to Cathy Collins. Be sure to ask her how the points are. Or maybe Mike Polanek would want to sell his. How do you start it, Mike?

Jenny Jobst ‑ had any foot cramps lately? Rubbing might help ‑ right girls?

Karl Barnes still hasn't learned how to lock his locker. Someone might steal something, right Karl? You might owe more than $5, Karl.

Fred Schmidt wants to know if you slept tight, Deb Parry. What's the matter, Fred? Jealous?

Hey Chuck Provenzano and Rich Peterson, how come you didn't stop and pick up those girls? What were you afraid of?

Jill Brauer was seen walking out of Spirit Senate the other day. What's the story, Jill?

Mr. Porter's physics classes were told not to get any paper clips in the grass. They're murder on the lawnmowers, hey, Mr. Porter?

John Milz got a taste of upperclassman anger when Bob Harrison attacked him with the fury of a thousand jungle beasts. Take it easy, Bob.

Chris DeVoney, have you been popping cups in 8B PAR? You wouldn't want a demerit, would you?

Leslie Carrell got her dress splashed with ink ‑ thanks to Mike Kuehn. Nice one, Mike. I bet the janitors were really happy about it, too, hey, Mike?

One last word of wisdom: Caryri Benton will be buying 7‑up from now on in PAR. It seems she found a worm in her coke cup one day. At least 7‑up is clear. (Another point for the "un‑cola.")

Well, that's about it. Remember, Morfit is watching.

Bye for now,
Me an' the Phynques