Well, the Phynques and I have so much unbelievable news to tell you that we decided to give out awards today.

First prize in the Unbelievability Division, a golden cheek cell, goes to Kevin Bullerman. Do you really have the best cheek cells in your biology class, Kevin? Is that why Tom Van Vleet, Sherwin Canterbury, Pat Fowler, and friends call you "Cheeks"?

The Pick on a Poor Frosh Award, a bottle of Gatorade, goes to Bruce Beam. Please, don't pour this bottle over poor frosh, Chuck La Sota's head, Bruce. The Phynques almost got splashed last time!

Janice Andrews, Jo Pocius, Amy Montalbano, and friends are winners of the Bug the Other Team Award, which is all the bus fumes they can live through. It seems these girls had Ken Kovar's mother follow the Maine South cross country team bus home from the Conference Meet, just so they could sing "you tried, but you couldn't do it" to them.

Pete Burchard has been chosen as the winner of the Scared Look Award. The look on his face when he couldn't find Tony Winder's track shoe was priceless. Right, Pete?

Steve Kisslinger, you have been selected as the one and only winner of the Perfect Notes Award. His prize is a tape recorder, due to the excellent notes he takes. Would you like to present it to him, Mr. Harris?

In the Blow Up the School Division, Ed Mueller and Dan Carlson have been awarded first prize, a golden test tube, for their chemistry class fiascoes. Maybe Jan Osborn would know what their latest experiment has been!

The Most Original Date Award undoubtably goes to Nick Fininis. We've heard that he enjoyed "Airport" so much he had to see it twice. Right, Jan Kennedy and Sue Tipton?

Honorable mentions go to Denise Ehorn, for the unbelievable amount of talking she does; Gary Barrett, for his great ability to be the life of a one man party; and DeeDee Dirago, for entertaining 6A lunch with her duck calls.

It's time for us to go, so let us leave you with one thought. Morfit and the Phynques are all knowing. Remember that!