OCTOBER 29, 1971
Let's Hear 'Em Again
Dad: Bill, wash your face. I can tell what you had for breakfast this morning.
Bill: What did I have?
Dad: Eggs.
Bill: Wrong. That was yesterday. (Boys Life)
Tom: What goes snap, crackle, pop?
Dick: A firefly with a short circuit.
Art: If I had 1,000 men and you had 1,000 men and we had a war, who would win?
Lance: I give up! Who?
Art: I would. You just gave up.
Rob: What do you call King Arthur's dog on a sunny day?
Bob: I don't know. What?
Rob: An armored hot dog.
Don't worry if your grades are low, and rewards are few;
Remember that the Mighty Oak was once a nut like you.
Teacher to Student: How do you spell melancholy?
Student: Same as everyone else.
First Artist: What would you say if you saw Whistler's Mother walking down the street?
Second Artist: I'd say she's off her rocker.
Gilligan: What do you call a witch doctor's mistake?
Hannigan: A voodoo boo-boo. (Boy's Life)
Definition: Camelot-A parking lot in Arabia. (Boy's Life)
Phil: How many controls are there on your TV. set?
Zono: Five-my wife and my four children.
New mother to husband looking at hospital bill: I know $200 is a lot of money for a baby, but look how long they last.
George: How do elephants get into trees?
Bill: I don't know. How?
George: Hide in a nut and wait until a squirrel carries the nut up to the tree.
Bill: How do elephants get out of trees?
George: I don't know. How?
Bill: They sit on a leaf and wait for fall.
Sign on a freshly painted wall in the school building:
This is a partition not a petition. No signatures required (Boy's Life)
Chet: What would the coroner's jury say about a person who died beside an open manhole?
David: They'd call it sewercide.
Boss to employee: I'd like to pay you what you're worth, Jackson, but the minimum wage law won't let me. (Boy's Life)