By BROCK AKERS

Those of you who saw the classic Woody Allen in "Bananas," that provocative, zany, wild, and strange movie that gave viewers stomach cramps from laughter, have to remember Howard "Harrd" (as Dandy Don persists in calling him) Cosell and his play‑by‑play coverage of not only the scheduled assassination of "El Presidente," the leader of a Latin American police state but the wedding night of Woody and all of its intricacies.

The humor of Cosell is not his voice, whose melodious tone pierces many an eardrum, but the subject matter. One normally would not expect to see an assassination or a bedroom scene on something they might like to watch in their living room. But then that is not as far‑fetched as it seems.

Eighty million people watched the assassination of Lee Harvey Oswald in 1963. And with television becoming more liberal by the minute, the once taboo is now shown in living color, but without "Harrd" at the mike.

Sex and violence are commonplace in prime time, and many people are complaining bitterly about it. But what about the old time, good family shows which plague the "boob tube"?

Those classics, re‑done and rerun, go sadly unnoticed. No one complains about the sickening sweet slop which runs rampant during an era when America is supposed to be the most sophisticated in the world.

These shows are sure to create both cavities and acne for many Maine West students. Whereas, programs displaying life as it is with a little blood and gore on the side fined themselves in the hearts of any red-blooded American youth.

So where do you go from there? Networks are forced to continue sweetening in one time slot while smashing trains, planes, cars, and heads in another. That way you are going to keep everyone happy, right? Wrong!

Complaints pour in about the action behind the gun and between the sheets. The programmers also realize that the Doris Day shows get a bit testy. These whompers are, to most sane people, the real trash.

So, to meet the increasing demand, it has recently been heard that all three major TV networks are going to offer nothing but game shows, cartoons, and news, (the non‑violent variety).

It's a good thing the movie studios don't get much mail. If they did, "Harrd" Cosell would be limited to just Fruit‑of‑the‑Loom commercials.