By JILL GERSHON

Have you ever stuck your hand under a desk or chair and found out you were stuck by a wad of gum? Well, this is to all you guilty people who stick your gum under there.

Your procedure is very clever, but it's been discovered. People have noticed the way you usually take your gum out of your mouth. Then, when no one's looking, pow! A wad of gum is waiting for a victim.

An unaware person sits down, pulls his gum out of their mouth, slips his hand under the table, and sticks his gum on the same spot. That's called a double stick.

Aggravation is caused by sticky gum under furniture. Have you ever gone into an expensive restaurant and found gum under the tables? Of course you haven't. They scrape their tables every night.

The custodians are the ones to be pitied. Those poor men go around with little scrapers and scrape gum off of the floor as well as the tables.

Try to put yourself in the gum's position; the custodians blame the gum when it's not the gum's fault.

A typical conversation between two pieces of gum under a table in the cafeteria would go something like this, "Oh, brother, here I am, stuck under this dumb table."

"Hey, you're new here, aren't you?"

"Yea, what's it like under here? What do we do on Saturday nights?"

"Well, it's pretty boring most of the time; who stuck you here?"

"Well, doesn't it ever get exciting under here?"

"It's awful exciting when you get stuck on someone. I mean they curse and tug at you!

"That's exciting?"

"Well, what do you expect? The only better thing is getting stuck on a book; then it's the road of life. That's wishful thinking isn't it."