VOL. XV, NO. 5
DECEMBER 21, 1973
Bench Beat
By BROCK AKERS
Athletics seem to pick up toward the end of the year, particularly near the Christmas week. The Christmas "spirit" is nothing compared to the spirit most everyone displays in the grandstand. But one sport in particular keeps its participants busy to say the least. It has few fans but many spectators. This sport breaks away from the traditional man versus man theme to something straight out of a Jack London novel: man versus nature. It is the snow game, that annual contest which claims three‑fourths of the nation as players.
The "snowmen" don their crowd‑pleasing, weather‑beating equipment of shovels, scrapers, spiked tires, and totes as they tackle the sidewalks, driveways, and parking lots. But don't think that they enjoy all the festivities. On the contrary, most hate the sight of every flake.
To them, snow belongs on the mountain tops where it can be enjoyed by those who play a different game on the powder. The slushy mess which is the result of any snowfall down here in the real world is anything but fun.
Athletics seem to pick up toward the end of the year, particularly near the Christmas week. The Christmas "spirit" is nothing compared to the spirit most everyone displays in the grandstand. But one sport in particular keeps its participants busy to say the least. It has few fans but many spectators. This sport breaks away from the traditional man versus man theme to something straight out of a Jack London novel: man versus nature. It is the snow game, that annual contest which claims three‑fourths of the nation as players.
The "snowmen" don their crowd‑pleasing, weather‑beating equipment of shovels, scrapers, spiked tires, and totes as they tackle the sidewalks, driveways, and parking lots. But don't think that they enjoy all the festivities. On the contrary, most hate the sight of every flake.
To them, snow belongs on the mountain tops where it can be enjoyed by those who play a different game on the powder. The slushy mess which is the result of any snowfall down here in the real world is anything but fun.
The battle is hard and long, pitting the cruelest of conditions on those who are the most vulnerable. It is a fight which is pre‑determined; no system can beat the flurries and Jimmy the Greek will give you pretty good odds if you think you have a winning combination. (And he's no sucker; he's in warm, sunny Las Vegas right now.)
Many mislead individuals claim that over and above all the atrocities of the flake, that snow is the best part of winter. They claim snow is pretty, fun to play in, occasionally causes a school closure, and is nice to see on Christmas Eve.
Snow is the only thing in white that clashes with everything else. The next time you get stuck in an eight‑foot drift, then comment on how lovely the snow is. As far as fun goes, the only real way to play with snow is to have snowball fights. Those aren't fun; they're painful. A school closure in our lifetime is about as likely as the second coming of the Messiah, so that's out. As far as Christmas Eve is concerned, when Bing Crosby sang "dreamin' of a White Christmas," he wasn't including the heavy stuff that accumulates on the driveway.
How lucky we would all be if we could switch leagues. Maybe we could move to where the competition isn't quite so rough ‑like the Floridian circuit.
Many mislead individuals claim that over and above all the atrocities of the flake, that snow is the best part of winter. They claim snow is pretty, fun to play in, occasionally causes a school closure, and is nice to see on Christmas Eve.
Snow is the only thing in white that clashes with everything else. The next time you get stuck in an eight‑foot drift, then comment on how lovely the snow is. As far as fun goes, the only real way to play with snow is to have snowball fights. Those aren't fun; they're painful. A school closure in our lifetime is about as likely as the second coming of the Messiah, so that's out. As far as Christmas Eve is concerned, when Bing Crosby sang "dreamin' of a White Christmas," he wasn't including the heavy stuff that accumulates on the driveway.
How lucky we would all be if we could switch leagues. Maybe we could move to where the competition isn't quite so rough ‑like the Floridian circuit.