VOL. XIX, NO. 8
MARCH 6, 1978
Spring Fever Strikes MW
BY MARK HALVERSON
Baseball bats crack in the distance. The ring of the Good Humor truck is heard. Blue jays sing in the morning dew. Long underwear is put into mothballs. Do you know what all these things have in common? It is very simple: they are the first signs of spring.
Yes, that's right. Spring is just around the corner. It just seems like the corner is a little bit longer this year. But it won't be too long before Mar. 21 comes rolling around, and it will be officially spring. Most doctors agree that within about a week or two the entire Midwest will be hit with an epidemic. It will be called spring fever. Yes, that's right, spring fever - not to be confused with Saturday night fever. Ah, spring fever. My dog caught that once in the woods on our vacation.
Baseball bats crack in the distance. The ring of the Good Humor truck is heard. Blue jays sing in the morning dew. Long underwear is put into mothballs. Do you know what all these things have in common? It is very simple: they are the first signs of spring.
Yes, that's right. Spring is just around the corner. It just seems like the corner is a little bit longer this year. But it won't be too long before Mar. 21 comes rolling around, and it will be officially spring. Most doctors agree that within about a week or two the entire Midwest will be hit with an epidemic. It will be called spring fever. Yes, that's right, spring fever - not to be confused with Saturday night fever. Ah, spring fever. My dog caught that once in the woods on our vacation.
All these assumptions are wrong. What spring fever is. . . is. . . well, it's too hard to explain. But it does exist. Some of the common symptoms are passing out in English because the temperature is an uncomfortable 97 degrees. After you recover, you head for the drinking fountain and drink of lukewarm water.
There is also the spring thaw. You say tome, "Hey, what is this thing called the 'spring thaw"? Well, I'll tell you what it is. It is when the temperature jumps from 26 degrees to 56 degrees in 24 hours. Six inches of snow melts almost instantly making the ground seem like a soggy SOS pad. This doesn't sound too bad until the coach decides to have you go out and run. By the time you get back inside, your shoe size has increased by four sizes. Now, all kidding aside, spring is probably the best time of the year. After all, after spring comes summer.
There is also the spring thaw. You say tome, "Hey, what is this thing called the 'spring thaw"? Well, I'll tell you what it is. It is when the temperature jumps from 26 degrees to 56 degrees in 24 hours. Six inches of snow melts almost instantly making the ground seem like a soggy SOS pad. This doesn't sound too bad until the coach decides to have you go out and run. By the time you get back inside, your shoe size has increased by four sizes. Now, all kidding aside, spring is probably the best time of the year. After all, after spring comes summer.
