VOL. II, NO. 1
SEPTEMBER 23, 1960

Do Frosh Plan Strategy?
Isn't it strange how a freshman stands out in a crowd, as if he had words printed across his chest? They seem to have ways about them all their own. Do they lie awake concocting some crazy thing for the next day? Their whole performance is so "pat," as though they were acting from a schedule: 8:10, fall down stairs; 8:25, drop English book on toe; 9:15, knock over art exhibit; 10:20 bump into teacher and break leg; 12:15 drop lunch tray.

The entire day seems to be filled with these little acts. Of course, a freshman's real debut comes in the study hail. You can't imagine what problems he has getting situated. First of all, the sound of his name must fascinate him. He'll listen to it over and over before he'll answer. But the real trouble comes when he tries to find his seat. The sight of all those empty desks sends him into a frenzy. A wild gleam comes into his eyes, and a wicked sneer appears on his lips, as he combs the shiny desks. But as anxious as he is to get into his seat, the more anxious he is to leave the room. When the bell rings, he darts out like lightning. There's a reason for this, though. He's been practicing different starts for the last period. First he tries the left foot in the aisle, right foot pressed against the seat in back of him, (which is 		unfortunate for the person behind him) and books under his chin (this is necessary because arms must be braced on desk for quick start).

There is one thing which happens at most, three times a year. It's a terrifying thing called a freshman assembly. I mean, it's hard enough to watch out for one freshman that could run into you without having thousands swarming down the halls (all of which are under five feet) right at you. It is reported one male lost his head and was almost trampled to death.

But, even though there are a million and one things they do wrong, they still fascinate you. After talking to many people, not one can figure out how one so small can carry so many books. They have ways no one ever dreamed of. Of course, we all know a briefcase is a must, but a knapsack? They can carry books anywhere, under arms, chins, between teeth, or balance them on their heads. It's a kind of science.

Yes, freshman are really great. It can honestly be said they can't rightfully be compared with anyone, without answering to a tortured conscience. So, hail to freshman!