VOL. II, NO. 11
MARCH 24, 1961

Bunny's Yearly Deliveries Monotonous, Risky, Tiring
2691 Forest Ave. - Hmm, this is just about the last one on my route. Man, am I beat. This Easter business is just about all I can stand. If it came more than once a year, I wouldn't be able to make it.

I suppose that you're one of those people who think being an "Easter bunny" is fun...well, it ain't! For one thing I am a rabbit, not a Bunny, and for another thing, right now my corns are killin' me. In case you think I'm exaggerating, let me just tell you exactly what is gonna happen when I go into this house.

I'll creep quietly up to the door, verrry carefully turn the knob - and there growling and licking his chops, will stand the family hound. Well, now that the union has made this ready-to-eat rabbit stew standard safety equipment, this problem is a little easier. Rover will stand there and I'll slip him a can of this stew and tell him to go find a quiet corner. With that, Rover will desert the enemy (me) and get lost.

Next, gotta' find those baskets that the parents have hidden so's I can put these eggs in. I know somethin' sort of special about this house, though. There's a little boy here who gets up before I get here every year and sticks his basket where I'll be sure to see it. Then he hides his sister's basket in the waste basket and leaves a		 note saying his sister is away and that I should just put her haul in his basket. Cute kid ...heh, heh. Some day there's gonna' be something besides chocolate in his egg! This is only one case. It would take too long to tell you about all of them.

Well, back to my predictions. After bribing Rover, deciphering scribbled notes, and playing detective, I'll try to go quietly about my business of filling the baskets. This should be the easiest thing, but as I said there just ain't any easy part to this job. By now, Rover's conscience will start bothering him, and since he has already finished his can of stew, he sees his chance to make up for his failings. This is his time to raise a big commotion, and wake up the kids... and he does just that. That there is my cue to git! I gotta' grab my basket before they catch me or I get swallowed. I beat it out the front door, and pray I don't slip and break my back. I'm telling you the risks in their business are tremendous, and the backaches are just about all a guy can take. The kids see l've been there and they start howling, "The Easter Bunny's been here!" I'm telling you, that word oughta' be against the law.

Why do I do it? Well I guess the truth is I've gotten soft in my old age, and I'm sorta' used to being called "bunny" and even though I gripe about it, I guess I'd miss the brats.