MARCH 24, 1961
-MORFIT-
We of the WESTERNER urge you all to get in back of the candidate of your choice. (Don't get in front; you might catch a stray bullet.)
We present (so that you can plan your schedule) a calendar of events.
Monday - Due to a misunderstanding in the music department, no combos will be on hand to kick off the proceedings. Instead, records will be played. Each candidate will set up housekeeping in a separate wing. Lobster and champagne will be served.
Tuesday - After listening to their own records from 7 to 8:05 (when the students finally begin to drag themselves inside) each candidate will give a short speech - then will lead his followers through the halls and each group will try to out-frolic the next.
Wednesday - The same as Tuesday except that no students arrive until 8:10.
Thursday - Everyone must have registered by now! There is a mad rush for the registration desk (for everyone must have a chance to vote!!!) and John Hanck, who makes a valiant stand in front of the oncoming herds, shouts, "Wait a minute; let's get organized!" is trampled and killed by the rushing hordes. The students of Maine West are quick to exercise their rights in an election.
Friday - Time to vote! All the students, glad for the break in the usual school routine that voting will bring, arrive early - as they are extremely anxious to vote for the candidate of their choice. The shiny machines are lined up in the student lounge, and campaign managers are nonchalantly treating their "buddies" to a pepsi-cola. Intelligent reasons for voting for one prominent candidate are discussed. "I voted for Maynard, because the lever for him was pink." "Yeah, I noticed that too. Anyone with a pink lever is for me."
Morfit and Finks