BY KENDEL OKON

Have you ever dreamt about falling into a bowl of oatmeal and not being able to get out? Or maybe you were a tuba player in the Mormon Tabernacle Choir. Or maybe you were walking through McDonaldland and you were eaten by a giant Big Mac. Or worse yet, have any of these things ever happened to you? For your sake, I hope not.

I used to have nightmares when I was a tyke. Everytime we had spinach for dinner, my dad told me to eat it so I would get big muscles and grow hair on my chest. For weeks after that I had dreams about waking up one day and looking like a cross between the Incredible Hulk and Smokey the Bear. I still refuse to eat spinach.

For once I'd like one of my dreams to come true. With my luck I'd get Robert Redford stuck with me in an elevator and I'd smile at him and he'd smile back at me. I'd get so excited that I'd feel sick to my stomach and probably faint. When they'd revive me, Bobby would be gone,

and I'd realize that the only reason he smiled at me was because of a piece of broccoli stuck in between my two front teeth. He was laughing, not smiling.

Did you know that if you dream about death there will be a birth, and if you dream about water, there will be a great disaster? I believe this is true because I dreamed that my hamster drowned while swimming in the Atlantic Ocean. A few weeks later I found out that my cousin Myrna got pregnant while watching "Earthquake."

Of course, who can who can forget the old "put a piece of wedding cake under your pillow and you'll dream about the guy that you'll marry." I tried it. I dreamt I was locked in a dark closet with a skeleton hanging in the corner. There was a piece of cake stuck in the skeleton's mouth. I figured I'd marry a very skinny baker.

Well, I have to go to bed now. I hope I dream about Bobby again. But, before I go I have to wash my pillowcase.