BY KENDEL OKON

With the recent blizzard, tons of snow were dumped on various ski resorts, thus forcing ski fanatics to abandon their snow shovels in search of a better way to survive the winter. My boyfriend is such a person. Two inches fall, and he's headed for the nearest mountain. He asked me if I wanted to go skiing. I agreed to go but neglected to tell him that I don't know how to ski. But being the naturally wild and crazy person that I am, I said, "Oh, what the heck; I'll go."

Driving up to the resort in his car was a real joke. He has a VW bug in which we had to stuff all of our ski equipment. With a ski pole in my ear and a ski that hit me in a most uncomfortable place, we attempted to drive up the mountain without getting stuck in the snow. However, to avoid hitting a helpless car and its occupants (six people with red eyes who didn't look like they planned to ski), we drove right into a large snowdrift.

All troubles aside, we finally reached our destination. My boyfriend took me over to the bunny hill where I was immediately surrounded by a bunch of six year-old kids. Feeling extremely superior and wanting to show off my advanced skiing techniques, I proceeded

to ski down the hill. As the instructor helped me to my feet, he calmly reminded me that we don't ski head first. He helped me back up the hill where all of the little brats were laughing hysterically. I hope they all grow up short.

Standing in back of the line was "Joe Cool." I saw his girlfriend, "Debby Dumbell," drop him off at the bunny hill and go off with my boyfriend. As she skied away in her size three ski pants, I hear her say, "Don't worry; they were made for each other."

The sun reflected off of Joe Cool's Foster Grants, White Stag ski suit, and pearly whites. He looked at me and said, 'I guess it's just you and me, kid. Should we try to go down the hill?" I managed to ski down the bunny hill three times and fell down 78 times. Joe didn't want to admit that he couldn't do it at all. He told me that skiing wasn't his favorite sport. So to preserve his macho man image, he made me pretend that I broke my leg so he could help me up to the ski lodge. When we got inside, there in the corner with casts on their legs were my boyfriend and Debby Dumbell. After some hot chocolate, I left with Joe in his Trans‑Am. Eat your heart out, Suzy Chapstick!