MAY 15, 1981
Lunchlines
Desperation Makes Sandy List Her Favorite Things
I knew it would happen. I have run out of incidents to write about. I knew I was getting desperate last issue when I reduced myself to writing about walking to school in the rain. It looks like it's time for the first (and only) "The Best and the Worst by S.V. Ludlow."
The Best Television Shows: "Bosom Buddies," "Doctor Who," and "WKRP in Cincinnati." Two are sitcoms that dare to move away from the usual sitcom formula, the other is the longest-running science fiction series in England.
The Worst Television Shows: "Happy Days," "Laverne and Shirley," and "Three's Company." These shows should have been cancelled long ago.
The Best Top 40 Songs: "Watching the Wheels" by John Lennon, "All Those Years Ago" by George Harrison, and "Medley" by Stars on 45. Can you guess what my favorite group is?
The Worst Top 40 Songs: "Morning Train (9 to 5)" by Sheena Easton (offends all women libbers), "Angel of the Morning" by Juice Newton (horrid remake of a classic song), and "Bette Davis Eyes" by Kim Carnes (does a bad imitation of Rod Stewart).
The Best Movies Ever: Wizard of Oz (a good fantasy with excellent songs), Head (an obscure film deflating the image of an obscure rock group), Doctor Zhivago (the best photography I have ever seen).
The Best Books: Bagtime – The Joys and Perils of Life in Chicago by Mike Holiday (my hero tells how Chicago really is), Shout! The Beatles In Their Generation by Philip Norman (last book I read), The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes by Arthur Conan Doyle (good escape literature).
The Worst Book Of All Time: Lord Jim by Joseph Conrad. Jim jumps off the boat around chapter four. Forty-one chapters later the story ends. Who cares what happens to Jim in detail from his jumping to his death? I don't.
The Best Periods of the Day: Third, fifth, eighth. These periods seem to move the fastest.
The Worst Periods of the Day: first, sixth, ninth. Respectively, Who's awake?, drags, and a total waste of time.
The Best Teachers: I better not say, because I'd have to include the worst teachers. I don't care to risk my grades so close to graduation.
Let me say that these opinions are mine alone and do not reflect the views of the Westerner or the MW administration. If you don't agree, you know you're a thinking human and not a rock.
(And Finally: College Visit.)