VOL. XXII, NO. 3
OCTOBER 24, 1980

Lunchlines
Sandy Questions Benefits Derived From Homecoming
BY SANDY LUDLOW

Homecoming can be a drag. I've come to this conclusion after four year of studying the event.

First of all, people don't like to dress up on dress-up day. Only a minority of the students could be found this year wearing feathers (Warrior Day). More people wore cowboy clothes on Western Day, but that's just because the country western look is in. Consequently, the students who dress up felt a little funny walking around in the midst of a normal looking school population.

During the Pep Rally, my usually noisy classmates clammed up. No sound of any sort issued forth from their mouths. No noise during the announcements of who won what, no noise during the school songs, no noise during the competition yell of all things. I could think of three teachers off hand who would be ecstatic if their classes behaved like that all the time.

The football game turned out dull for me, too. I arrived at the stadium in the middle of a group of cars driving around filled with what appeared to be clones smiling and waving in unison. The clone parade was followed by the band chugging out the pep song to a lukewarm reception. I sat in the brisk cold wind on my alloted 18 inches of space and prepared to watch the game.

The game started without my noticing. This lack of observation may seem unbelievable at first, but you have to realize that I made the big mistake of		 sitting right next to the aisle. The immediate area around my 18 inches seemed to be a popular area in which to congregate. I'd just get a glimpse of the action on the field when five other people would "just happen" to run into each other. For the next 10 minutes I'd hear nothing but comments along the line of "Gosh, I haven't seen you since June!" and "How's college doing?" I saw nothing but coats and jeans during the first half except for two minutes beginning at seven minutes left in the second quarter. Yes, that's right, for two minutes I actually got to follow the game before the coats and jeans returned, going to the concession stand to beat the rush.

I didn't get to see the halftime show because the crowd now felt justified in blocking my view now that the game wasn't in progress. My view during the second half was blocked worse than in the first half. On the way home I wondered why I spent three hours in the cold for no apparent reason.

The worse part of Homecoming was the dance especially since I didn't go. It seemed that half of my gym class was going. They found it amusing that I wasn't going. They didn't realize that my not going was beneficial to their health. I have two right feet (being left-handed) and absolutely no sense of rhythm. The last dance I went to I broke three toes, only one of which was my own.

All in all, Homecoming was depressing at least for me. I'm sure some must have enjoyed it. I wonder if they would tell me how they did it.

(Coming up: The joy of pets.)