DECEMBER 19, 1980
Lunchlines
Christmas Seems the Same Throughout History
What's Christmas, anyway? Is anyone sure what it means anymore?
Surely Christmas didn't start out commercialized. Of course, there is always the possibility that before the three Kings entered the gospels laden with gifts, they stopped at Chaim's Lo-Cost Nick Knacks and haggled for the items. I can see it now ....
- "All right, I know you have a tight schedule to meet. If you'll give me those three silk robes and the copper bracelet, I'll give you the gold, the frankensence, the myrrh, and the pig's bladder."
"What's a newborn infant going to do with a pig's bladder?"
"Well, what's he going to do with gold, frankensence, and myrrh? Give the bladder to his mother makes a lovely stew."
"They're Jewish. Hey, wait a minute, you're Jewish - why are handling a pig's bladder?"
"I'm not Jewish."
"How did you get a name like Chaim, then?"
"Chaim's my stockbroker. I'm watching his shop for him while he goes dye the Nile blue for winter. It's an old family custom, changing the Nile's color."
"Ach, James, where have you been? You disappeared yesterday morning, and you've just returned without telling us where you're going. What kind of a son are you?"
"Aw, gee, Mom, I only went to Park Ridge. Bob goes to Park Ridge all the time without telling his parents."
"You're not Bob. You missed Christmas Eve dinner, too."
"Aww, Mom. Christmas Eve dinner is always a drag here Dad makes us sit still and stiff without talking, and we're not allowed to have seconds and the girls have to eat first it's a stone drag."
"And what was so different about Susan's house?"
"We sat in the living room; we talked; we sang carols; we had seconds; and I finished eating before the food got cold."
Christmas doesn't seem to have changed much, does it?