VOL. XXIV, NO. 1
OCTOBER 5, 1982
How does your freshman rate?
by Randy Johnson
Once a year Maine West is plagued with a very serious problem. Although the size of the problem has dwindled in recent years, it still persists. The problem is, of course, the new freshmen.
Below is a list of some of the more obvious characteristics of a new freshman.
First, think of a freshman that you know. Think of this person as you go through the list and check off the characteristics that fit your freshman. When you're through, count up the number of boxes checked and compare your freshman to the rest of the freshmen class as listed in the score sheet that follows. Ready?
Do you know a freshman who:
wears an Ozzy Osbourne T‑shirt every day?
always has between 5 and 10 books in his or her hands?
carries around fifteen pounds of notebook paper?
always has five No. 2 pencils, 4 blue pens and 1 red pen?
thinks it takes a full five minutes to get from D‑wing to C‑wing?
thinks that Mr. Jurinek is really the late J. Edgar Hoover?
Once a year Maine West is plagued with a very serious problem. Although the size of the problem has dwindled in recent years, it still persists. The problem is, of course, the new freshmen.
Below is a list of some of the more obvious characteristics of a new freshman.
First, think of a freshman that you know. Think of this person as you go through the list and check off the characteristics that fit your freshman. When you're through, count up the number of boxes checked and compare your freshman to the rest of the freshmen class as listed in the score sheet that follows. Ready?
Do you know a freshman who:
wears an Ozzy Osbourne T‑shirt every day?
always has between 5 and 10 books in his or her hands?
carries around fifteen pounds of notebook paper?
always has five No. 2 pencils, 4 blue pens and 1 red pen?
thinks it takes a full five minutes to get from D‑wing to C‑wing?
thinks that Mr. Jurinek is really the late J. Edgar Hoover?
thinks the Rotary Reading Room is part of a car?
still hasn't found upper D- wing?
thinks that plaid is a color of the spectrum?
likes the cafeteria meat loaf?
has nothing for lunch except Twinkies?
never bathes?
carries a calculator the size of a store cash register?
thinks the state of consciousness is somewhere on the West Coast?
thinks Montana, Wyoming and Utah are all middle east countries?
Okay let's see how your freshman rates:
1-3 boxes checked - freshman with some hope.
4-7 boxes checked - freshman in deep trouble.
8-10 boxes checked - can tell it's a frosh a mile away.
11-12 boxes checked - already on the great space coaster.
13-16 boxes checked - Gilligans Island reject.
Well there you have it. A composite ranking of the future of Maine West. Does it make you want to cry?
still hasn't found upper D- wing?
thinks that plaid is a color of the spectrum?
likes the cafeteria meat loaf?
has nothing for lunch except Twinkies?
never bathes?
carries a calculator the size of a store cash register?
thinks the state of consciousness is somewhere on the West Coast?
thinks Montana, Wyoming and Utah are all middle east countries?
Okay let's see how your freshman rates:
1-3 boxes checked - freshman with some hope.
4-7 boxes checked - freshman in deep trouble.
8-10 boxes checked - can tell it's a frosh a mile away.
11-12 boxes checked - already on the great space coaster.
13-16 boxes checked - Gilligans Island reject.
Well there you have it. A composite ranking of the future of Maine West. Does it make you want to cry?
