By John Frana

"S'cuse me buddy ‑ there's a note on your back."

"Oh. . . thanks. Here, let me shake the hand of an honest student."

"YEOW!!" The old buzzer trick strikes again. And what did the note on his back say? APRIL FOOL!!

I can't win. Every year somebody ‑ everyone that tries ‑ takes me.

In past years I have had the following duly and unmercifully applied to me:

The guy who stole my locker combination filled my locker with tin cans.

A nut in algebra handed me a homework paper all marked up with my name and today's date on it. It turned out to be a paper of mine he saved from last year.

My homeroom teacher sent me on a quest to find the book by the wife of the Unknown Soldier.

The laces of my shoes were tied together (with those of the girl I sit next to in study hall).

My chemistry teacher gave me five minutes to prepare a speech on the chemical reactions involved in the manufacture of jelly beans ‑ for one fourth of my final grade.

The 'gang' in gym class accidentally misplaced my ‑ while I was dressing.

I'm fed up! I've had enough! Today was the last straw!! I think I'll pass a petition around for the exposure and just punishment of these amateur jokers. Things are starting to go too far . . . hey, here comes Larry. . . hmm. . . cross out the April on this tag and ‑