by Peg Demko

"In the spring a young man's fancy turns f' girls and love," as the saying goes. This isn't entirely true, since he has been thinking about girls all year, except he hasn't had enough nerve, or maybe money, to ask them out.

Now comes the big question; getting that girl to realize you've been sitting behind her all year in history. Be coy about this. When she's sitting down, kick her books out from under her desk. Better yet, throw spit balls down the back of her blouse. This is bound to get a reaction.

The next step is to get yourself in good with her; the best method is to save her life. If this is impossible, you can always, accidentally, knock her, books out of her hands, and then heroically offer to pick them up. If she takes steno, say something in shorthand to show off your genius.

Girls love compliments, so always lay them on thick. Compliment her on her skirt, her slip that's showing, or that cute mustard spot on her dress. Tell her how much you like her dirty elbows, her puffy hairdo, which is really pushed out by her big ears, and her size 13 feet.

Now, you should be ready to ask her out. Build up your confidence by preparing ahead to time your speech. Here's a suggestion­ "Rapunzel, would you go to the Prom with me? Afterwards, we could visit my dad's diamond mine."

What girl wouldn't like to see a diamond mine??

If she's a brain, impress her.

Say, "Rapunzel, come with me to the Prom so we can discuss Newton's theory of relativity." It never fails.

Now that you've got your date, watch your wallet, and have fun!