Westerner 3.11.3., Story 1

FIFTY-THREE PONTIAC, excellent condition (for junk), Tri-tone green (originally two-tone, but due to several accidents and rusting, owner retouched car with third shade of green. It is known as the "green bean."

EXCELLENT INTERIOR (greasy green with numerous holes.) White-wall tires (hand-painted.) Radio (volume changes without notice.) Heater (heat results from over-heating of engine. Caution: Keep windows open so carbon monoxide will escape.) Roomy (if you clean tools and front grill out of back seat.) Transmission: floor shift (owner is on fourth transmission in one year. Present transmission has no reverse or second gear. Shifting is done through wires in the floor.)

RESPECTABLE DRIVER (has been in numerous accidents and had insurance cancelled and license revoked for moving violations. Has been driving without driver's license, insurance, city sticker, school sticker, or license plates.) Reasonable mileage. (Driver takes carload of kids home everyday in order to have enough people to push the car to get it started. He makes frequent trips to Chicago and puts on many miles trying to find his way home. Fifty miles were put on trying to find his way home from the Morton East game.

CAR HISTORY - Ron Erdman '63, is still shaken up from the time the owner was sightseeing on the way to school. It seems he ran into a car stopped for a stop sign, and the impact knocked his victim's false teeth out. John Bernero 62, gave the "green bean" a jump from his battery after school one day. To his surprise, the battery exploded and blew the cables, casing, and part of the fender to pieces. About the closest call the "green bean" had was when it ended up going the wrong way on the Congress expressway.

If you are interested in buying this car, contact the owner, Jerry Mesenbrink '62. You will always find it parked in the parking lot at the end of the C-wing sidewalk. Funny, there's always an empty space or two on each side. Maine West drivers know the "green bean" too well!