BY Jon Evertson

NORTH POLE (AP) ‑ The government newspaper, The North Pole Worker, today reported that S. Claus, social worker, collapsed in a nervous breakdown at 2:45 this morning. He was rushed to the Artica Peoples' hospital mumbling incoherently about party differences.

His breakdown was due to the verbal fight last Mayday over differences of party policy. The difference arose between him and the Easter Bunny over the little state of Shamrock and the management of the Leprechauns. Shamrock had been receiving aid every Christmas and Easter from the two great powers. In turn the powers use the Leprechauns in their communes to make toys and paint eggs.

Mr. O'Mally, leader of Shamrock, stated, "That bully (Santa) has been too capitalistic in his dealings with us. During the Christmas rush he has been selling toys on the open market and not sharing the profits with the workers. He also has poor working conditions."

The North Pole Worker checked into this statement and found out that Santa was dealing with the capitalists.

Santa will be taken to court Monday on charges of stealing from the Good Fairies, abusing the reindeer, and contributing to the delinquency of brownies and elves. It is expected that he will draw a life sentence and be shipped to the Never Never Land slave labor camp.