BY Edward Churny

It seems that whenever Christmas rolls around there is always someone on your list who has everything. It is for this person that I would like to suggest one of these gifts:

1. His and hers mustache cups
2. Autographed picture of Lassie
3. Color television knob
4. Fur‑covered tooth brush
5. A book on advanced baby babble
6. Home course in grave digging
7. Street guide for Hakensack, Minnesota
8. Framed definition of "skeba chevy"
9. Year's supply of used gum