by Bev Pawelko

1. Learn Swahili.

2. Develop a new style of handwriting.

3. Write a letter to the Westerner.

4. Scream.

5. Learn Judo.

6. Take up knitting.

7. Make a musical comedy out of "The Canterbury Tales."

8. Create a new hairdo for J.F.K.

9. Memorize second verse of "The Star Spangled Banner."

10. Twiddle your thumbs, stamp your feet, and whistleall at the same time.

11. Spell hexacholoroeporyoctalydroendoerodiemethonapthalene forward five times.

12. Give tripe one more chance.

13. Exercise the baby toe of your left foot.

14. Read Webster's dictionary, word by word, cover to cover.

15. Glue the pages of your English book together.

16. Figure out how many hours old you will be in 1998.

17. Cry.

18. Rewrite a sonnet from Shakespeare.

19. Unstuff your kid sister's teddy bear.

20. Learn the Chesterfield jungle.

21. Make up a list of 21 things to do when bored.