VOL. IV, NO. 5

December 14, 1962

One Good Urn Deserves Another

By Glen Jackson '63

"Tell me, Phial what is your report on the Earth?"

"It is completely hostile. I recommend invasion and the use of the mental-conversion principal upon the whole planet.''

"Is it that bad?"

"Definitely. They treat our brethren like animals and fill them with drugs, antibiotics, and all the other pain-killers on their planet. I tell you, Beaker, the situation is treacherous."

"All right, I'll see that immediate action is taken. First, though, we must send another observer. Alter all, we can't give a planet the treatment without first getting several observations."

On Earth

"Little boy, why are you crying?" asked a tall man of a shabby little boy who was standing on the sidewalk.

"Because it's Christmas time and I'm so poor that I have nothing to give my mother."

"Well, that's no reason to cry. You must be a man and face up to things," advised the man as he walked away from the boy.

The boy stuck out his tongue at the man as he walked away. Then he picked up some snow and made a snowball. He was just about to throw it when a beautiful goblet began to float down from the sky. The goblet landed right in front of the boy. He reached down and picked it up.

"How beautiful!" he exclaimed. "A golden goblet. Now I have a present for my mother."

"How beautiful," exclaimed his mother when she saw it. "But come," she said with tears in her eyes, "we must eat our Christmas dinner. And, I'll tell you what. I have a surprise." Then she went to their little box-refrigerator and took out a carton of eggnog. "Our special treat for Christmas. You may have the first drink from the goblet."

She poured some of the eggnog into the goblet. Suddenly, though, the goblet glowed like a star, and the mother and child jumped back in surprise. The goblet gurgled, and the eggnog bubbled; the level of the eggnog went down slightly.

"Be not afraid," said the goblet. "My name is Goblet, and I bring you good tidings. It has been said of you Earth people that you are mean and unkind to vials. But from what I've seen, heard, and tasted," he paused for a moment to smack his lips (if he had any), "previous reports have been false. I shall recommend to the High Flask that your planet be spared the treatment. In the meantime, however, I wonder if I might be permitted to live here with you and that wondrous liquid? If so, I shall make sure that your lives are made easier in every possible way."

The mother and son quickly agreed, and the three feasted heartily on the supper that was suddenly put before them. But first the mother gave thanks to the Christmas season and the wondrous good urns that are bestowed upon one another during it.