VOL. V, NO. 1
SEPTEMBER 20, 1963
HELLO OUT THERE, upperclassmen. Hello sophomores. And et me hang an extra big "say man" on all you poor, innocent freshmen. My name is Morfit and I'll be seeing you often this year, but you may not know I'm around. I'm just a tiny, shaggy, little doggie that lives here at Maine West. Sometimes you can find me in The Westerner room, or the cafeteria, or sometimes I'm really brave and extend my little world to include the halls at passing time. Because I'm so small, people rarely see me. Upperclassmen are usually careful (mainly because they are perfect), but I've got a few helpful words for you frosh.
On freshman day I almost lost my already stubby little tail. It seems there was this freshman boy walking down the hall, minding his own business. His business was avoiding the cracks in the floor. I guess I don't resemble a crack in the tile, because he seemed to think I was OK to step on. He missed me by a hair, and a mighty skinny one at that!
I WISH TO THANK the freshman who wears the chartreuse combat boots, it's easy enough to dodge something like that!
If you see a short, fat kid trying to sell an elevator pass, demand a price less than 75 cents, he paid that much for it.
A‑word‑to the freshman with the bass violin in one hand and the briefcase in the other, please exchange the bass violin for a fiddle, or at least don't swing the bass quite so hard - please? My veterinarian says the swelling on my nose should go down in a week or so.
While I'm at it. I may as well wish you freshmen all that you deserve. Without you the old place wouldn't be the same-over‑crowded, over‑confused. Just think, in two years you'll catch up to everyone and be able to say, "Look at the puny frosh!" Till then, good luck.
Bye now, from Morfit and Company.
On freshman day I almost lost my already stubby little tail. It seems there was this freshman boy walking down the hall, minding his own business. His business was avoiding the cracks in the floor. I guess I don't resemble a crack in the tile, because he seemed to think I was OK to step on. He missed me by a hair, and a mighty skinny one at that!
I WISH TO THANK the freshman who wears the chartreuse combat boots, it's easy enough to dodge something like that!
If you see a short, fat kid trying to sell an elevator pass, demand a price less than 75 cents, he paid that much for it.
A‑word‑to the freshman with the bass violin in one hand and the briefcase in the other, please exchange the bass violin for a fiddle, or at least don't swing the bass quite so hard - please? My veterinarian says the swelling on my nose should go down in a week or so.
While I'm at it. I may as well wish you freshmen all that you deserve. Without you the old place wouldn't be the same-over‑crowded, over‑confused. Just think, in two years you'll catch up to everyone and be able to say, "Look at the puny frosh!" Till then, good luck.
Bye now, from Morfit and Company.
