OCT. 23, 1964
Six easy steps to guide you in fine art of pumpkin carving
Do you break out in a cold sweat at the mere drop of the word "pumpkin?" Is there a shudder in your spine and a twitch in your lip when Oct. 31st rolls around? Do you look back at yourself last Halloween as a lone figure mercilessly ripping the innards from an unsuspecting pumpkin?
If the answer to any or all of these questions is yes, then here are a few simple rules to help the novice pumpkin carver.
Step 1: Carefully choose the subject, take it home and give it a good washing with water from a hose, or put it in the bathtub and add a half of a box of Soaky.
Step 2: After drying it under a 250-ton air-conditioner, or a sun lamp, take a sharp knife and cut a circle around the little handle sticking out of the top of the pumpkin. Make sure to cut on an angle so it will not fall through the top.
Step 3: Run hysterically to the washroom and apply the necessary iodine and bandages.
Step 5: Take the newspaper full of fleshy pulp and head for the nearest garbage pail.
Step 6: Carefully sweep up the seeds, pulp, and other revolting stuff with a large broom after it seeps through the thin paper and deposits itself on the floor. Repeat step 5 with at least three thicknesses of paper.
After step 6 rely on mere artistic ability to cut out two shifty eyes, a puckish nose, and a cherubic grin, or a diobolical sneer, depending on the mood you're in. Plunge a four inch taper into its bowels, kindle the awaiting wick, douse the lights, and loll in the warmth and glow of your home-made goblin, knowing you will never again fear the word pumpkin.