Hi Kids!

Well, the first semester is over. It saddens me to hear all the sobbing in the halls, and the floors are a hazard when wet so let's cheer up and start all over!

I hear that Terry Newport was in such a hurry to get to gym class recently that she fell down the C‑wing stairs, doing somersaults all the way down. I'll bet she gets A's in gymnastics! Here's a note to all freshman boys. Tell Gunnar Svenson to go to the Hut. It seems there's a certain sophomore girl waiting there for him. And if you can't get him to go, go yourself. She says any freshman boy will do. Hey, Pat Radlein, found any garbage cans on your doorstep lately? Tsk, tsk, Mike Lloyd refuses to wear boots to school. But Mike, you'll get cold feet! There's a rumor going around that Bill Muhlenfeld might get a new yellow shirt! Also, what's this I hear about Louis Smith wearing his pajama top to school instead of a shirt?

Here's some inside news on the latest fashion. That great master of coiffure, Mike Gordon, gave Nancy Carlson's troll doll a crewcut; and it's becoming all the rage. Some people think Lee Rodin should be on the track team. I hear Linda Wesolowski is a champ on the "tramps." The seventh period C‑201 study hall wants Mike Ridges back permanently! Speaking of study hall, has anyone seen the stray dogs, cows, and sheep running around 6A C‑201 study?

Dave Anderson loves everything orange. Lydia (Apple‑Face) Orloff eats two apples a day because she hates doctors. I hear Dave Larson and Steve Cornelius are batty over BATMAN.

FLASH! We are cursed with the plague of the green socks! Someone (or something) is going around stealing everybody's green socks ‑ so look out! Lock your doors and guard your green socks with your life! What is the motive behind this sinister plot? No one knows ‑ but beware! This looks like a job for BATMAN!

People keep asking why Mr. Cuthbert goes around singing "1 ‑ 3 ‑ 5." They also ask what was the unique grade Chris Eckel got on his German test? Have you heard that Mike Malloy (that guy in the red jacket) won't even move a staircase for Fran Urban?

Well, bye for now, kids, and remember, the eyes of Morfit and the shadow of BATMAN are upon you!
Morfit and the Phynques