VOL. IX, NO. 6
DECEMBER 15, 1967

Red-Nosed Bulb Makes Good
By ANDY COLLIAS

Located at the end of Maple Street is a brown, two-story, bungalow with a wrought iron gate. Each year at Christmas time the owner of the small bungalow hung his Christmas lights along the roof of the building. All the lights were green.

After hanging the lights, the owner realized that one of the green lights had burned out. He rushed to the hardware store to buy a replacement. No green lights were in stock, but there were red ones.

The owner decided to buy a red replacement and leave it at that. He installed the light as soon as he got home. At first the red light was anxious to glow and shine a bright scarlet.

Later, when the red light tried to glow, all the green lights called him bad names. They called him "Tomato Head" and "Bloody Mary." The poor little bulb cried and cried.

During the daytime when the lights were shut off, the green bulbs played all sorts of games; but they wouldn't let the poor little red bulb play with them. At night all the green bulbs used to yell at him, "Hey, stupid, you've got the wrong color. Don't you know what you're doing?"
 Finally, the lonely little bulb decided it was time to dry his little red eyes and do something about it. He tried to roll himself in green chalk, but that didn't work.

The red bulb then dipped himself into green tempera paint, but the snow just washed off the color. The poor little

bulb was getting desperate. He decided to end his misery. He would unscrew himself and jump off the roof.

When he did jump, he landed on a snow mound and failed to commit suicide. Lying there in the snow, the poor bulb cried and cried.

"Santa Claus," he wailed, "why don't you help me? I don't want to be different. Honest I don't." Then came a streak of lightning-no, not a streak of lightning (that's only for ghosts . Then came a sound of sleighbells and a merry "ho-ho-ho."

Santa liked the little red bulb so much that he invited him to come to the North Pole. "Little red bulb," he said, "I need you to guide my sleigh. We could strap you to the nose of Rudolph and attach you to an Eveready battery."

The little red bulb was so overjoyed that he smiled. And he smiled and smiled. All the other bulbs that were mean to him were so jealous that they were "green with envy."

So that is how Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer got his red nose. The moral of the story is that a little red bulb always "nose" what he is doing.